This week, in Parshat Toldot, we confront one of the most agonizing, morally complex, and human stories in the entire Torah. It is the story of Jacob and Esau, of rivalry from the womb, and of the controversial situation of family deceit: the theft of Isaac's blessing. The plot focuses on the actions of the three main characters: Rebekah’s ideals, Jacob’s deception, and Esau’s bitter cry.

Isaac loves Esau, the man of the field. And he is determined to bestow the covenantal blessing upon him. Isaac’s wife, Rebekah, hears this and tells Jacob of her plan to fool a blinded Isaac into giving the firstborn blessing instead to Jacob. She justifies this seemingly ‘traitorous action’ toward  one son to the other son by explaining that she received a message from G-d that Jacob would be the one to lead the nation. Jacob complies, and disguised by goat skins and Esau's clothing, he approaches his father Isaac: Isaac’s senses fail him: “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.” (Gen. 27:22)

Isaac believes Jacob is Esau, the elder son, and thus gives him the blessing to continue the covenant, but when Esau returns from his hunt and realises what had happened, he cries out: ‘a bitter cry’, pleading with his father to find a solution as they share the tense shock. Esau swears to kill Jacob as the grudge and rivalry of their brotherhood explodes, however Jacob flees his brother’s wrath - and stays away for 20 years.

What I feel we can interpret and extract from this story, most notably the conflict and emotions between two brothers, is that, while Esau was deceived by Jacob, he was never truly fit to be the continuation of the covenant. He swore to murder his own brother for a mistake his father made, and a plan set in motion by Rebekah. This does not only show a lack of correct judgment, but it shows that he never had true compassion in his heart, and that the blessing was more important than family for him. 

In life, we may feel hurt by someone else, or in a situation we can’t control, be it intentionally or unintentionally: the outcome may be that we hold a grudge or feel upset. However, this leads to a long-term rift in the relationship as just as Esau chose to distance himself from his own brother. This shouldn’t be the case. We shouldn’t have to push the people we hold dear away from us, but instead we should choose to forgive in order to keep them close. In the end, Esau lost his relationship with his brother, but we can learn from this and we can choose to rise above our problems and choose peace.

Thank you, and Shabbat Shalom.

Written by Noah, Grade 11